Cthulhu

I had this idea to submit Cthulhu Hedberg jokes to McSweeney's, but I only finished one before I moved on to another idea.

I recently purchased a computer that came with optional speakers. The clerk asked me, "what kind of would you like speakers with that?" I was tempted to reply "those which from within comes a voice deeper and more profound than that of all time and space," but I just said "bookshelf."